Forgive Me

Never have i felted so hopeless, so weak... Not knowing what the outcome going to be and what would i do after knowing the answer i've been waiting for. It's been a while since i am the one waiting for an answer and thinking about so many possibility how things can end up to be, being happier as life at last fall into pieces again or would i burn and crash knowing that losing my love one with no hope of returning back.

Having difficult sleeping, insomnia, can't even eat as i can't stop thinking about the outcome that i will get. Words can just do all the little things in this world but words can't heal up broken heart of those i broke. Knowing all the things i have done to you kept me thinking that you wouldn't want to forgive me. To be able to regret of all the things i did and all the things i did that broke your heart. I was so closed up with my feelings towards my past than i didn't give myself a chance to understand you and to cherish you while you were with me.

Am i too late to undo all my doings to her? Has anyone else able to win her heart before i could even begin to heal her of my doings? All questions that are running through my head like water and questions after questions keep on flowing. I guess realizing that the mistake has been made and nothing could be done. Sometimes people should just say something so that those who are waiting for the answer won't feel as if things are going to be forever. I act like a child begging over someone who i love. 

I guess i deserve what i get for being so childish over my reaction in the past that lead me to break her heart. It's not easy to show how sincere someone can be without letting them prove that they knew what they did wrong but i guess some people just wouldn't want somethings to happen twice. Maybe too afraid of the what if things happen again possibility. 

To be able to make someone believe in you after you have lied to her is really hard but it is not impossible to do and only if chance is given that you are able to undo all the mistakes and turn all the knives into flowers once more. I could just sit here and hope for the best, praying for your forgiving. Whatever the outcomes is going to be is something i have to deal with later on but one thing for sure is that i can ask her to love me but i can never force her to fall in love with me ...

JOEY... FORGIVE ME ='(