F.u.t.u.r.e

I've been thought of lots of things the whole night. I realize that there are many things i want to become in life, to be a better man for her, to be a mature man and a man that can protect her, to be a man that knows the value of having a family, a man that can provide more than just happiness for my future wife and family. I want to become someone who is useful and not riding on others hard work. House, money, cars are all things that are need at first and education is needed to have a good enough brain to over think any problem that will arise and handle it with ease.

Not everything we desire we will tend to get but the things we want are the goal we will try to reach now so that we will get in the near future. There are things where we ourselves can gain but other things we are meant to just wait and let it happen by itself. I don't want a life full of money, and happiness all the way, i want a life that have enough of everything and no matter what happen, my family will stay by my side to get through any trouble. And i have decide to study hard the next year in Singapore cause of my future. Not for anyone, but it's just for myself. I wanna success in my life, I wanna prove to those who suspicious me, I wanna give a comfortable life to my family and my love one.

Money is important and it is needed to have a good life but its not enough to have a happy and successful life. Money can give fame but not happiness. Even though i got a lot of money, my life wouldn't enough and happy without you. I want to become a real man and make my future wife happy to have me beside her. What i ask might just be impossible to achieve it all but i for sure will aim to be able to at least do most of those things. Just wanna give everything the best to her.

Since we were a kid, we desire to be rich, to have fame, to be somebody in this world but as i grew older, i realize that its not as important any of those things but to me, the most important thing in my life is to have a complete happiness and have my love ones around me. Its enough to put me through each day even if i become poor some day. Working hard is not a problem as i will work really hard for those i love and those i care for.

To be able to achieve and get all those things might took years to gain. It might take more time that i expected and i can go through all the trouble in the world if i knew in the end i will get what i want.. If only i knew what to expect in the future...hope...is all i have to hold me through my tough time and to keep me breathing to every suffering and pain i will go through until i reach my goal in life... In my mind just got one quote, I WANNA SUCCESS !

by : Jun Kia

date : 19/11/11

time : 11.40 am

Wait For You

It's the first day, I had never felt that nothing in the world like this before. Trying hard to be happy but i just cant do it. Suffer the whole day and I'm wishing and praying that you would come back to me. Why did you have to go? So now I'm all alone. I really wish you to stay, but you wouldn't give me a chance. Do you know when you re not around, it's a little bit more then I can stand. And all my tears keep running down from my face. Why did you turn away? This is not how you want it to be. I will wait for you. Cause I don't know what else I can do. Don't tell me I ran out of time. If it takes the rest of my life.

No matter how, I will just wait for you.
Honestly, If you think I'm fine but it just ain't true. I m just acting in front of you cause i don't you to worry. Sad to say, I really need you in my life. No matter what I have to do also I'll wait for you. I really miss you so much. Need you so badly. It's been a long time since you called me. How could you forget about me. You got me feeling suffer and crazy. How can you walk away? Everything stays the same. I just can't do it. I wondering what will it take to make you come back? Keep on thinking and thinking, I told you what it is & it just ain't like that. Why can't you look at me, i know you still in love with me. Please don't leave me crying. Honestly why can't we just start over again and get it back to the way it was. If you give me a chance I will really appreciate you and love you tide. I will really change for you. Please do believe me. Lastly, no matter how I'll Be Waiting for you my love.

by: Jun Kia

date : 7/11/11

time : 10.10 p.m

Life

Life is like a roller coaster ride. We have our highs and lows. We have our breaks, our falls that hits us harder when we truly recognize.

I'd love to say that is all planned out, things happen the least you expect it to happen.

Like how LOVE share its MAGIC

Love is an incredibly powerful possession.

Being IN LOVE is such a cliche...

But being in a relationship built in trust is really something...

Way in which you gave your heart wholly and vulnerably.

When you're not in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is INCOMPLETE.

by: Jun Kia

date : 6/11/11

time : 2.07 a.m

I Need You

I need you.

I miss you.

I love you.

从一开始的互不熟悉、到如今的彼此了解

从一开始丝丝的想念、到如今深深的眷恋

从最初很在意在你面前的形象、到现在的毫无顾忌

从当初的不知道该怎么会爱上你、到现在的不知道该如何分离




一路走来、经历了很多、有快乐幸福、也有伤心眼泪

但我深信我们也都付出了很多很多

如果有一天 、我们真的分手了

你会怎样




如果我们分手了

我一定会伤心难过、原本总以为

不管我们吵的多凶、说多少伤人的话

到最后还可以重新牵起彼此的手



如果我们分手了

就算删掉你的手机号码、我一定还是能倒背如流

开始酗酒、折腾、动不动就会掉眼泪

就算想发信息想打电话、也不知道以什么开头

即使已经不能把你在身边当作习惯

但你样子会时不时的出现在我的眼前



如果我们分手了

我一定会删掉所有你的照片、因为知道以后还可以在照

可是这一次不一样、如果我真的那么做了

它们就永远回不来了、因为没机会了






最后看着你的照片默默的掉眼泪



如果我们真的分手了

你要记得

我还是会等你的电话、回你的短信

在你想见我或是需要我的时候我还是会出现

因为我深深的爱着你

就算分开我还是会念念不忘

想念你..想念..想念..

想念那个喂我吃东西的你

想念那个为我擦眼泪的你

想念那个为我做饭的你

想念那个为我着急担心的你

想念那个在我生病细心照顾我的你

想念那个温柔的你

想念那个在车里抱着我聊天得你

想念那个说要让我幸福的你

想念那个坦诚说实话的你

想念那个为了让我过上好日子出去奔波的你

想念那个曾经对我海誓山盟的你

想念那个深深爱过我的你







如果我们分手了

我不想再看见你、因为我害怕你出现在我面前

我会习惯的拉着你的手、习惯的亲亲抱抱

但是那个时候我已经没有了资格和理由

by : Jun Kia

4/11/11 5.35 a.m

Someone Special

To someone special in my life...

and i know

but

Forgive Me

Never have i felted so hopeless, so weak... Not knowing what the outcome going to be and what would i do after knowing the answer i've been waiting for. It's been a while since i am the one waiting for an answer and thinking about so many possibility how things can end up to be, being happier as life at last fall into pieces again or would i burn and crash knowing that losing my love one with no hope of returning back.

Having difficult sleeping, insomnia, can't even eat as i can't stop thinking about the outcome that i will get. Words can just do all the little things in this world but words can't heal up broken heart of those i broke. Knowing all the things i have done to you kept me thinking that you wouldn't want to forgive me. To be able to regret of all the things i did and all the things i did that broke your heart. I was so closed up with my feelings towards my past than i didn't give myself a chance to understand you and to cherish you while you were with me.

Am i too late to undo all my doings to her? Has anyone else able to win her heart before i could even begin to heal her of my doings? All questions that are running through my head like water and questions after questions keep on flowing. I guess realizing that the mistake has been made and nothing could be done. Sometimes people should just say something so that those who are waiting for the answer won't feel as if things are going to be forever. I act like a child begging over someone who i love. 

I guess i deserve what i get for being so childish over my reaction in the past that lead me to break her heart. It's not easy to show how sincere someone can be without letting them prove that they knew what they did wrong but i guess some people just wouldn't want somethings to happen twice. Maybe too afraid of the what if things happen again possibility. 

To be able to make someone believe in you after you have lied to her is really hard but it is not impossible to do and only if chance is given that you are able to undo all the mistakes and turn all the knives into flowers once more. I could just sit here and hope for the best, praying for your forgiving. Whatever the outcomes is going to be is something i have to deal with later on but one thing for sure is that i can ask her to love me but i can never force her to fall in love with me ...

JOEY... FORGIVE ME ='(

I'm Sorry

a very sorry to my love one~ Joey Fang.
i m still not mature enough.
i'm the one who don't know how to appreciate ur love.
i m really a failure and a bad guy,
that always make you sad and unhappy.
i wanna let the whole world know how bad m i.

-Apologizing-

When i close my eye,
i think of you, i feel you,
these days without you i really feel uncomfortable.
I miss you, i worry you.
Hoping you to come back.
I really couldn't sleep these two nights,
keep on thinking back our past.
I thought of lots of things.
I realize that i really couldn't live without you.
The feeling is so uncomfortable and suffer.
How good if time could stop by,
or there is a chance to turn back?
If there is, i will really appreciate you, cherish what you give.
I will continue to love you even though you don't hope me to stay.
I feel so wrong and so guilty.
I really know wrong le.
SORRY !!!